Wrong:�Hey -I work for StonerRock.com...Where are you from?
Oswald:�Morgantown West Virginia......Where are you from?
Wrong:�Originally I`m from Alaska...
Oswald:�What happened...you move here when the gold ran out?
Wrong:�Yeah , I moved here when the gold ran out....
Oswald:�You�re all the same...am I drooling on myself?
Wrong:�No...not yet...
Rich:�What are some of your interviewer influences?
Wrong:�Kurt Loder- he�s the only one!!
Rich:�What about -like your mom after you�ve been out really late- in the 7th grade? you know- Where have you been ? What have you been doing?
Wrong:�My parents were pretty cool about that, they gave me a house key and said- whatever...
Rich:�uhhh...
Wrong:�I�m gonna get a beer...
(after I get a beer , Rob Oswald gives me a background history about his family name...we talk a little about family names and he decides that we have a lot in common...)
Oswald:�We have a lot in common...
Wrong:�well, at least two things ...what do you play?
Oswald:�Drums, and you?
Wrong:�Guitar...see , well we don`t have that much in common-
Oswald:�I play that as well...
Wrong:�I see....
(I tell Rob that I`m interviewing Nick from QotSA the next day and askes if he can record Nick a message...)
Oswald:�Can I record something that you can play back for him?
Wrong:�sure...
Oswald:�What do I do?
Wrong:�it`s going, just talk into...
Oswald:�Hey Nick- It`s Rob Oswald...just wanted to let you know- that I killed Eric Dixon and I cut his head off and shit down his throat , I`m sending you his head... just wantd to say hi... take care.bye...
(Rob Oswald goes to fetch another beverage....when he does, Rich intercepts me and explains how Rob never does interviews, and this is a rare occasion and I should get him while I can on tape....)
Wrong:�what?
Rich:�it`s the first time ever...
Wrong:�why?
Rich:�I don`t know...whenever we do interviews, he goes to the bathroom or something and dissapears... you get him while you can `cause he`s funny as hell...
Wrong:�you`re talking about Rob...
Rich:�yeah- I got some good questions.
Wrong:�yeah like what?
Rich:�like ask him- how he lost his teeth , and where they`re at...
Will:�hahaha!!! ROB WHERE`S YOUR TEETH?
Rich:�Ask him if he`s ever addicted to crack...
Wrong:�If he was ever dicked in the what?
Rich:�Addicted to crack...
Wrong:�Dicked in the crack? oh, addicted to crack!!! I was wondering if that was some kind of West Virginia slang for ....
Rich:�Go ask him...
Wrong:�alright- I will...I just have to get a beer first and lube up my brain... I didn`t write down any questions for you guys...
Rich:�I`m giving them to you!! Come on- work with me here....go ask him those questions!!
Wrong:�Where is he?
Rich:�Look, these are the three questions you need to ask Rob... number 1- Are you now, or have you ever been a crack head? number 2...
Wrong:�He`s not gonna punch me if I....
Rich:�Oh no.... number 2- where have your front teeth gone? and number 3- are you gonna sleep with your ex-girlfriend when we play in LA?
Wrong:�These aren`t questions that are gonna get me punched?
Rich:�No , these are all legitimate questions ... and number 4....
Wrong:�OK, number 4...
Rich:�Is your dad a narcaleptic?
Wrong:�these all sound like very good questions, OK next time I turn on this recorder , I will ask Rob these questions...
(a short time later...)
Wrong:�Hey Rob, can I ask you a couple of questions now?
Oswald:�alright...
Wrong:�OK, these are questions I was told to ask you-K? Were you ever a crack head?
Oswald:�yeah- certainly...
Wrong:�alright...
Oswald:�Weren`t you?
Wrong:�No...
Oswald:�Oh...I`m a crack head
Wrong:�OK- How did you lose your front teeth?
Oswald:�Oh I hit a tree doing 70 MPH in a Volkswagen Beetle - went through the windshield and hit the tree...
Wrong:�What year Beetle?
Oswald:�69 super Beetle- it broke the rear axle and the driveshaft....
Wrong:�I can`t remember the other questions, oh wait! Is your Dad a narcaleptic?
Oswald:�Yes, as a matter of fact, he is...
Wrong:�give me a funny story about...
Oswald:�There`s nothing funny about narcalepsy...
Wrong:�Oh ...I know...I mean...
Oswald:�Well, he`d be driving, when I was little- and umm... he`d fall asleep at the wheel- and I would have to wake him up... now when I`m on the road, I can`t sleep when someone is driving and I`m trying to sleep-I can`t sleep in a moving vehicle- It`s real hard...
(I get another beer, and pause the recorder...)
(later....)
Wrong to Rich:�(pointing to Rob Oswald)- I just gave this guy a half a joint...
Oswald:�No he didn`t! No he didn`t!!!
Rich:�Yeaaahhh!!! Thanks for telling us!!!
Wrong:�that`s right, you gotta share- this stuff is gonna be posted on StonerRock.com , you know , of us getting high- and acting crazy and drunk....
Rich:�yeah lets do it before we play... smoke out...
Wrong:�you guys could do it before you play, I have some more...just take that with you...
(Oswald grabs the hand held recorder and starts ranting and raving...I grab it back and say...) You guys want to step out to the van and do some real buisness?
K2B:�ummm...
Wrong:�lets go...
(meanwhile...out in the van, the session begins...Karma ain`t the only things these hicks burn...many beers have been consumed by this point so, watch out!!!)
Wrong:�So you guys enjoying Portland?
Oswald:�yeah...
Rich:�James Brolin(?) what?
Oswald:�It`s too nice up here-man...
Wrong:�It`s nice right now, but it could rain at any second...
Oswald:�I know, but it`s the best...Temperature like it`s....
Wrong:�It is right now but tomorrow it could be like, twice as cold- I`m serious... tropical...
(I pull out some goods and make sure these guys see what Oregon`s all about...)
Wrong:�Remember that Robs(Oswald) got a half of a joint of what I`m about to share with you...
K2B(?):�what does StonerRock mean anyway?
Wrong:�You know what...StonerRock? It doesn`t mean...it means as much as -Punk Rock does or Metal or you -know as much as Alternative or fucking NewWave...there are bands like QotSA next to Black Sabbath next to Kyuss...Sludge...
Oswald:�We`re Malternative, you ever heard of Malternative?
Wrong:�You guys are Sludge- I have heard you refered to as Sludge...you know- whatever...can I ask you guys a couple of questions now? or what?
Oswald:�I told you, no normal questions... we don`t wanna hear any influence things or any...
Wrong:�No, there is not going to be any influence but I wanted to know what...
Rich:�No personal information like- where we are from or anything like that...
Oswald:�We already covered that...
(Steve from the Oatmeal hour steps in the van...)
Rich:�You wanna hit this thing(joint?) We got room for one more...
Steve:�what? joint?
Wrong:�Who`s Steve?
Oswald:�Steve is our friend that lives here.
Wrong:�Hi I`m Rob..
Steve:�Hi- (while inhaling...)
Wrong:�Have I met you before?
Steve:�(exhaling) Yaaa...I got the Oatmeal Hour...
Wrong:�Oh yeah- I met you a while back... (to Rich) can I ask some questions???
Rich:�yeah yeah...
Wrong:�what I`m most concerned with is... what do you listen to...
Oswald:�Well I could just give you the CDs we`ve got with us there...
Wrong:�I wanna look `cause everyone is different and I...
Oswald:�I`ve heard that before time and time again, but I`m a firm believer that everyone is the same...
Wrong:�Oh really- you like the Beach Boys?
Rich:�how could we not like them?
Oswald:�Everybody is the same...
Rich:�You are not like me!!!!
Wrong:�You guys have a flashlight to look at these road tapes? hmm...
(scrambling through their tapes--- tape list: Tres Hombres-ZZ Top-nice, Ted Nugent-Motor City Madness)
Oswald:�We go to the truck stops and...
Wrong:�(Dag Nasty-Deep Purple...Freedom Rock, Stiff Little Fingers... ) Just then the tape starts warping...SHIT!!!
