At about 9:00am on May 17th we loaded up all of the Witch Mountain gear, luggage and merchandise into the rented U-haul trailer. I strategically managed to fit all of the CDs from the All That`s Heavy Online Store as well as my luggage and all the required shipping supplies (envelopes, boxes, labels, packing tape etc etc) underneath the bed in the back of the van. Due to space restrictions I made the executive decision not to bring all of the vinyl from the All That`s Heavy Online Store which meant that vinyl orders were delayed by 2 weeks while we were on the road (sorry about that!). And we were off and running! First stop: "Boise, Idaho". DOH!

Most of us, excluding Nate Mountain, had never (or only briefly) been to any of the cities/states on this tour east of Oregon, so even boring cities like Boise and Iowa City had some minimal novelty value for us. Certain things though, like "topless bars" and even, *GASP* "bikini bars" (as opposed to full nudity strip bars) had novelty ratings of approximately NEGATIVE 1000!! First of all, these states are mostly flatter than that dude who got run-over by a tank. Second - where are the fucking trees and "noteable features" of the landscapes? How about rivers, lakes, creeks, streams - ANYTHING!!?!? And then, last but not least, you can`t go out, get loaded and watch hot chicks take off their clothes to take your mind off of your extreme boredom? HOW THE FUCK ANYONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND CAN LIVE ON A PRAIRIE IS BEYOND ME! I apologise if I`m offending anyone here. But opposed to the forests and beaches and mountains of the west coast the "mid-west" seems unfathomably drab. If you`ve been living on the prairies your whole life and don`t know any better I guess I can understand, but take some advice from someone who does - do some travelling goddamnit! There`s more out there than tumbleweeds and "big sky"! Oh and strip clubs that have booze AND full nudity!!

But enough small talk. On to the shows. The show in Boise turned out to be in the basement of a punk rock party house. Cool! A local band, Blood Party, was playing their "last show ever" - which I believe was just a publicity stunt, but whatever. We showed up late, which was to become a trend, and the very first thing Witch Mountain did when they got there was set up and play to about 20 or 25 people in a dark, hot, poorly lit and smelly basement. The very first thing I did was find the nearest store and bought some beer! I arrived back just in time to hand the boys a cold Corona after their first song. Their set this night went off well except for it was cut short by neighbors complaining of the volume (how come they didn`t complain about the other bands? Hmmm.. I`m sure you can answer that yourselves :) and Dave couldn`t move around because the ceiling was so low, and he so tall, that his head had to be positioned perfectly between ceiling struts and ventilation pipes so that he could stand up straight! no shit! :0) After the show was over Robwrong and I went to get some more beer, and simultaneously so did Dave and Johnny and our nightly ritual of getting loaded and stoned and working on the website began in style. Parked on the side of the road with the colored lights on in the van and the doors wide open (because of the heat) and our laptops on our laps. Passers by invariably stopped to ask "what in the heck are you boys up to?" - hehehe - The ultimate in cool or the ultimate in geeky lameness - you decide! :) Oh - and not sure what Bloody Party was like - cuz we missed `em :(

After breakfast with our hosts in Boise we hit the road for Salt Lake City where Witch Mountain played a small underground club in an industrial part of town called the "Kilby Court" with Burner and 2 other local bands. Since this was an unlicensed all-ages club we had the (not so) brilliant idea to pick up some fifths of whiskey for drinkin` purposes during the show (cunningly concealed in coke bottles (mix included)) and a shitload of beer for drinking in the van between sets. (Special Note: Nate Mountain was the designated driver so don`t get your knickers in a knot! There was zero drinking and driving perpetrated during the Witch Mountain/StonerRock.com US Tour :) - Oops, I drank my whiskey too fast and Oops I drank too much beer and Ooops I don`t remember much of this night! However, I do remember that it was fucking LOUD in the small cinderblock room and I do remember drinking with Koi (an active StonerRock.com Community member) and his female friend in the van and also selling him some CDs from the back of the van (nice to meet you Koi!) . I also remember that Burner put on a cool fuzzed out and heavy set and the other band named Hammergun had 3 singers all standing in the nearly non-existant crowd and facing the stage. Witch Mountain`s set was so loud that most of the audience scattered - or at least spent most of their set listening from outside. The rest of the night was spent at the home of one of the Burner dudes. Supposedly I was quite entertaining in my drunken state (or not, I`m not really sure, since I don`t remember anything but glimpses of this party scene).. One thing I do remember is that the Witch Mountain guys slept out in the backyard and I slept in the van - shortly after I started my little "party" in the van Robwrong had to come out and ask me to turn the stereo down because they could hear the music loud and clear all the way in the back yard. DOH! I hope the Burner guys aren`t mad at me! ;)

The next morning: Hangover city! Get coffee! Get breakfast! Hit the road for Denver! Witch Mountain was originally supposed to play a show in Colorado Springs on this night but the show was cancelled due to the local fire marshall shutting the venue down. We tried to secure another place to play but had no luck so we decided to head straight to Denver and hunker down for the night and get some rest. Witch Mountain shared a hotel room and I slept in the van as usual. Before going to bed though, Nate Mountain and I headed out to the same club Witch Mountain was to play the next night to watch The La Donnas and some other "rock" band. We missed the La Donnas and the other band was so bad that we left halfway through their set and went out for a late dinner/early breakfast at a late night diner that was packed with transvestites, hookers and excessively pierced and tattooed people. The food was great and the atmosphere was delightful!

The next morning we had some time to relax, shower and wander around Denver, which is a very cool city! Although its altitude is so high that walking up a short flight of stairs in the thin air is enough to make a regular smoker/drinker like myself passout with lightheadedness. We also had some time to do some sightseeing which took us to a national park just outside of Denver called "Red Rocks". Everyone except for Robwrong and myself actually went for a hike. Robwrong and I stayed back at the Van. Rob wrote reviews and I packed orders from the back of the van in the park`s parking lot, which overlooked a gorgeous vista. Now this is the way I like to do my work! Beats the same old basement everyday! We hit a post office on the way into town and I did the shipping before we headed to the 15th St Tavern to set up for that night`s show with local bands Vile Rune and Blackened Goat Tongue (these guys get the award for coolest band name on the tour!).

Incredibly, while we were sitting around having a couple of beers waiting for the other bands to show up a sand storm struck Denver. It was an awesome site. We could see it slowly enveloping the city as it moved towards us. Heavy winds filled with pelting sand grains with a backdrop of dark clouds imposed on us and battered our cold skin with freezing rain and grains of sand while we ran towards the Hard Rock Cafe to grab some pre-show dinner. Then, as bad turned to worse, the sand storm had turned into a blizzard by the time we emerged from the Hard Rock Cafe (and it was beautiful and sunny and warm the day before!). Luckily the other bands did make it but as for the audience, well that was made up mostly of drunks that had been sitting at the bar all day and the members of the other bands. Oh well, Blackened Goat Tongue is a five piece and Vile Rune a three piece and both bands had friends there so this was actually a pretty large audience compared to some of the other shows that Witch Mountain played on the tour. Also in the audience was Snowsurfer (an active member of the StonerRock.com Community). Vile Rune and Blackened Goat Tongue both had the "raised by bikers" look that suits High on Fire so well. Vile Rune played a very cool "Sleep" inspired set - although Johnny got their drummer severely stoned immediately before they hit the stage so they were a little bit "off" but it was still very enjoyable just the same. Blackened Goat Tongue were sort of a "gothic stoner band" with a gorgeous and talented female bassist and a female lead singer with Janis Joplin vocal qualities. Very tight and very cool. We all thoroughly enjoyed this evening of music!

Witch Mountain slept on the floor at the huge old home of Blackened Goat Tongue (where they had several motorcycles inside the house in the foyer - crazy!) and I slept in the van. But not before dozens of monster bowls were passed around. We awoke to two inches of snow on the ground and a sunny blue sky.

Hangover, coffee, breakfast, road. This time it was a two day drive to Minneapolis, Minesota. We spent the entire first day driving accross Wyoming and Nebraska - 2 more states that are BORING AS FUCK! - making it as far as the Nebraska/Iowa border. Lucky for us there was a huge casino and a cheap motel right there as we entered Iowa and there was still 2 hours left before last call at the casino! Right on! And the drinks at the casino were like $1.75! Double right on! So we got loaded by downing as many cheap drinks as possible before last call. I blew $40 on a $5 slot machine (cuz I`d never seen one before) hoping to strike it rich - but lost the whole $40 in like 5 spins (DUMB DUMB DUMB!!). The other guys were smarter and blew maybe $20 each, if they even gambled at all. Oh well. Gotta try everything once - even $5 slot machines! The evening was brought to a close with Robwrong doing his website work on his laptop while sitting on an abandoned car in the hotel parking lot and getting hassled by the fuzz for his efforts! hehe

The next morning we woke up late with hangovers, got coffee and breakfast and got on the road to Minneapolis. We arrove at the 7th St. Entry, which is connected to the 1st Avenue venue (where Prince`s "Purple Rain" was filmed and where David Byrne (of Talking Heads fame was playing the same night)) only slightly late (but long before Bongzilla) to find that the show had been double booked by two seperate promoters! DOH! This meant there were 5 bands there instead of just 3 like we expected and to make matters worse the two "additional" bands were of the alt-country/pop-rock variety and had no business on a heavy rock bill. Double doh! AND the soundman was hellbent on putting Witch Mountain and Swamp Mongrel on BEFORE these other two bands! OUCH!

After some negotiations with the soundman the line-up was changed to Swamp Mongrel opening (since they were local and all the other bands were touring bands), the other two bands next, then Witch Mountain with Bongzilla headlining. Cool! (Well considering the circumstances!) Since this was the dreaded "5 band bill from hell" Swamp Mongrel quickly took the stage and tore the place up with their Eyehategod meets Dixie Witch style. Groovy 70s style fuzzed out guitar with over-the-top screaming/growling vocals way up in the mix. This was the first truely "awesome" band that we saw on the tour. All of us were pleasantly surprised and impressed with their set! I was especially intrigued by the vocals - which were somehow growly and distorted yet (for the most part) clearly audible and intelligable. They seemed very deep, poetic and specific to the decline of Western Civilization as a whole - or, that`s the impression I got anyways.

Then came "the other two bands", who will remain nameless for the sake of magnanimity. To be fair though - even though we weren`t "into" their thing - they did have some fans there that enjoyed their set. Mostly college kids wearing "sweaters and spazzy glasses" (as our forums friend Shake E. Lee would say, hehehe) though. But that`s as much as I`ll venture to say about that! Up next and playing to a packed house were Witch Mountain who played a stellar set and made at least a handful of new fans! Two of whom were drunken punk rock lesbians who were tongue kissing each other all night in front of the stage and in front of Witch Mountain`s merch table. Yum!

Last, but certainly not least, were the resin soaked weedians of hardcore stoner goodness: Bongzilla. Witch Mountain had toured with Bongzilla before but this was my first ever encounter with their live performance - and holy shit batman! - what a performance it was! If you`ve seen Bongzilla before you`ll probably agree that the most noteable aspect of their band is their frontman "Pee Wee" (AKA "Jeff") who, as his nickname implies, is a little on the vertically-challenged side. But his on-stage persona (and off-stage persona for that matter) completely overshadows his stature. He`s probably just over 5 feet tall, with mutton chops, covered from head to toe in tattoos (one that says "Earth" all the way accross his torso), plays shirtless with monster sized nipple rings and belts out the most evil, over-the-top and intense vocals I`ve ever heard from anyone big or small. The rest of the band is tight and heavy as hell too with a very powerful drummer backing them up. Awesome stuff! And this was only the first time we were to see them out of the 3 times we`d see them on this tour alone! Kick-ass! Bongzilla and Swamp Mongrel are both bands that you don`t wanna miss if they come anywhere near your town! Even considering the double booking fuck-up this turned out to be an awesome night - especially since the place was packed! Definitely the most successful show of the tour besides the Emissions from the Monolith 2 festival. Many pipeloads were smoked in the tiny basement "band room", pot cookies (supplied by Bucky of Swamp Mongrel) were consumed. I successfully cleared the room of most of the Bongzilla and Witch Mountain members with a single fart! Funny shit! Especially since 2 girls came in and sat right next to me as everyone was scattering and gasping for air. They didn`t seem to notice though, even though I was grinning like an undertaker! haha

Part 3 is now online! Click here to continue...